Fifty-six flings in just three years,
Thirty-four ghosts, no shed tears.
Sixteen “we dated?” — news to me.
Five family meets, then slept with the niece —
Not my fault — look, I’m rare, elite,
A gift to women... that's community treat

Yale

I don’t do feelings — too messy, too loud,
I move like Big Ben — sharp, proud.
Men? Like soaps. Twisty scenes.
Drama on loop in ripped-up jeans.
I don’t do “we” or candlelight dinner,
If I like you? Cool. But don’t think you’re a winner”

Leticia

I used to be you — yeah, dreamer heart,
But life taught lessons, tore it apart.
Now I see London for what it is,
A cold market — love’s hit or miss.
Highest bidder? Gets the kiss.
But that’s not hate — it’s just the biz..

Leon

I mind my business and the job that pays,
Shift to shift life, steady in my ways.

Like I said, I mind the job that pays my rent
And on this topic of love?
I got no comments

Arjun

Tickets are coming soon

Director's Note

I didn’t want to write just another story about dating disasters or gender debates. That felt too easy. Too predictable.

Instead, I went searching because I had a deeper question.…:

If the dating scene is a mess, what does that say about the people in it?

This musical isn’t about the apps. Or the arguments. Or even the heartbreaks.

This is a mirror—wrapped in rhythm, wit, and wild laughter.
You’ll laugh, you might cry, but more than anything…
You’ll see yourself. Maybe in one character. Maybe in two.

Either way, brace yourself.

Because You Can’t Find Love in London is not just a title.
It’s a dare.

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